It's The End Of The World As We Know It
by YourConscience813
Summary: A mystery that needs to be solved, humor in misfortune, unlikely allies, and a little adventure on the side. All this leading up to the world's demise? Since when? What has the certain red head done this time? Is it even him? Please Read and Review.
1. I Larxene's Rampage

This has been the edited version, the old one has been deleted. Finally, I posted this story. I've had this chapter finished for months but forgot that I had it saved on my computer so... Yeah. This happens to many other stories as well. That is why I do not have many- finished- stories posted on my profile. Oh well, I am just glad that this one will be completed. Anyways... This is really random and it's what happens when you don't get any sleep -just like some of my other stories as well- so I hope that you enjoy it!

As some of you have noticed, I totally rewrote the whole story. Everything is so much better than before and I tried hard not to change the main story line. Plus the very weird parts. However, I made it easier to read and more like my current writing style.

Rated: T (T, really?!) Mainly because of my desirable nature to put apeshit into every sentence and such. Not much else wrong with it 'cept for maybe some sex references but hey, I think you can live with just jokes about it, right?

Disclaimer: I do not own Kingdom Hearts and any of its characters and anything else that you know that I do not own.

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It was night, the black sky seeming to take over the anything below it. The darkness was about to swallow everything up, leading it into nothingness. So brilliant. Kingdom Hearts shown brightly over the large silver establishment of The Castle That Never Was. It was a truly a dazzling sight. A dazzling sight when nothing existed at all? How odd, some would suggest. It was different for the people who lived here. The Organization. Nobodies. They lived in the realm of nothingness. Everything -or nothing, for that matter- was silent in the dark corridors and alleys of the dark city. However, even in the peace of night, trouble began to stir.

Hours passed by, time waving goodbye while passing. It was six o'clock in the morning and only a few Nobodies were up and moving around in the Kitchen That Never Was. The newest member, Roxas, opened the fridge sleepy. He was obviously not a morning person. Slowly, he pulled out the milk for his cereal and his muscles ached when the carton was heaver than expected. Saïx sat quietly at the table flipping through the newspaper. There was not anything interesting, but it was a better choice than conversing with the other Nobodies who were in the kitchen. Near the shove, Xigbar poked fun at Xaldin who was wearing a 'Kiss the Cook' apron. Who wouldn't? However, some had to agree that he looked better in an apron than some of the other members. They were all victims -or maybe even suspects- at what was about to unfold next.

"Who in the mighty flaming depths of hell could have done this to me!?"

To that, the milk carton that Roxas held slipped through his fingers, spilling onto the white marble tiling in an instant. The newspaper that Saïx had been reading accidentally ripped in half at the scream. Xigbar, who had been leaning up against the counter lost his footing, tripping forward on the floor mat and landed on top of his friend, who was now a bright red. Time seemed to freeze as the cries from upstairs continued. Something just did not feel right in the least bit. The four Nobodies that were in the kitchen stayed as statue, wondering what was going on the other stories of the enormous castle. Somehow, they found that being blissfully unaware might be a great thing to be.

The eye patch wearing nobody jumped to his feet quickly, leaving the other on the ground confused and flushing from the embarrassing fall. Also he wondered how such a small man could take him down so easily. Completely ignoring the fact that he just landed on a fellow Nobody, he walked across the room towards the doorway leading to the upstairs floors. He did not go up, but he peered up the stairs, as if someone was going to come screaming their head off while skipping to the beat of 'My Fair Lady.' "Man oh _man_!" Didn't everyone enjoy a little excitement on the side of their eggs and bacon? He turned back around and faced his little 'audience'. "Axel is gonna really get it this time!"

The blond was staring at the ceiling, an eyebrow crooked and he was thinking about the possibility of someone falling through the ceiling and landing in the middle of the kitchen. Hopefully on the table, because that would just be comical. Especially if it was Axel being punched through the floor by Larxene. He most definitely would laugh out loud at that scene. With what had happened thus far this very morning, he figured that it would be possible. How? He didn't know. It was just his thoughts. Sighing, his gaze tilted towards the ground. "At least it's him and not us." Roxas now noticed that the milk he dropped had gotten all over his cloak. In an instant, he completely forgot about the situation. His face cringed in disgust, "Ah, Shit. I have to go change now!"

More yells were heard coming from the upper levels suddenly. Saïx shook his head at the mess that was beginning to grow this morning, knowing that the Superior would not be pleased once he woke. If he weren't up already, then it would be a freaking miracle. His blue hair covering his face in the process of shaking his head. Why is it that he could act completely emo and no one would notice? Or maybe they do notice but they're too afraid to say anything of the nature to him. He was not scary. He was not dangerous. However, others instinctively fear him. "I would wait until Larxene finishes her rampage first before departing to the upstairs."

"Until Axel's funeral begins! Right!" How amusing. The older members smirked to themselves at the thought of it. Sometimes, the kid was actually pretty funny. Some of the other times, he was just a kid. Not as natïve as other people. Other people as in Demyx, but he was okay. Roxas began to search for something he could use to mop up the spilled milk. Once he looked down, a small glimmer in his eyes appeared out of the darkness. Xaldin's dreads seemed really convenient right at the moment.

The one on the floor must have figured what the small blond was thinking. Hell, everyone around him could have figured out what was running through the younger one's mind. It was more than clearly written across his face. What he found out was not something that he was up to for this unbelievably hectic morning. Glaring up at him, he calmly threatened, "You do it you _die_."

"Holy mother of hell! Where in hell is it? The world will end if it is not found!"

There were steps coming down the stairs and Zexion turned around the corner. His hair must have been messy from 'not getting any sleep' last night. That mainly consisted of staying up half the night and reading some great book. Something like that. Xigbar, the only one who really thought this way, had investigated what the sixth member did in his spare time before. Some could remember that he was taking bets that he was writing poems or crying over his life. After finding out, he could not speak for a week about what he had seen. So, yes. Reading. Yes, that was it. "Bleak Rise," he murmured.

"Mornin' Zexion." Roxas said, not even fazed by the way the other greeted them. "Do you know what's going on upstairs?"

Every Nobody in the kitchen turned when the spotlight was put onto Zexion. Slowly, he shook his head. Truthfully, he really did not want to know what was going on upstairs but he knew that the news would spread soon enough. Sometimes, he just hated gossip. Why could no one keep quiet anymore? "No, I do not. Somehow, I have a strange feeling that number eight has something to do with it."

"See..." Xigbar waved his finger in front of the blond's face, "…That's what **I** said."

The blond swatted at the Freeshooter's finger, "No it wasn't! It was **my** idea, you stupid pirate!"

"Don't call me a pirate, Brat!"

"Don't take my ideas, Ninja!"

Xigbar pounded his fist on the counter. It was more than likely that the ninja stereotype comment was irritating him. No one could blame the blond. He actually was like a ninja, pirate, ninja, surfer dude. Stereotypes, as if. "Damn you Blondie and your freakin' hormones."

There was more yelling, even more so than the screams and cries from upstairs. That was very impressive, somewhat impossible. Zexion, who was not a huge fan of the yelling in the morning, just picked up a doughnut from his own little stash and plopped himself down in a chair at the table. He looked down, slightly raising an eyebrow at what he saw. How could he miss that? "Having fun, Xaldin?" On the floor, the Whirlwind Lancer was fighting back Roxas's foot that kept trying to mop up the slipped milk with his long black dreads. It was a very comical commotion. If the Cloaked Schemer were not so uptight, maybe he would have found this very amusing. Seriously, the man's head looked like a mop to the young blond! He had to give in sometime. "I would offer advice but at the moment… I am very tired. Better luck next time."

There was the noise of someone upstairs running from one room to the next, breaking whatever that was in their way in the process. Nobodies flinched at the noise, but somehow took no part in it like earlier. They simply stayed there and listened to the noises silently. A loud scream of frustration was heard from above, which was not very unusual. "Where is it!? Come on! I know it did not just walk off the face of this planet by itself! I know it!"

Xigbar continued to crack up with laughter while he tried to get some decaffeinated coffee from the counter. No nonbeing in the castle was allowed to ever look at the stuff the man added into his coffee and for some nobodies; they really, really didn't want to know. Turning around with a huge smirk, he asked playfully, "Can I use someone's camera to videotape when Axel gets murdered? I'll share the credit when I post the video online."

"Oh… So it was Axel, huh?" From groggy the voice, they all turned around to see Marluxia standing half asleep in the doorway. His hand was covering his pale face and his usual bright blue eyes seemed very dull this morning. Even his usual perfect looking pink locks were out of control at the time. It just was not natural. Marluxia had to be perky and annoying in the mornings. Why wasn't he? Of course, he looked a little tired, but maybe that was not the end of it. Who in the Organization really care?

As the pink haired one staggered into the kitchen, Zexion perked up, noting the obvious to him. "You look horrible."

Before he even had a chance to answer back to the other, the tall man sneezed, causing every nobody to flinch and bring their arms to their faces. It was an odd way to block away any germ coming from the un-Graceful Assassin. The pink haired man wiped his forehead with the sleeve of his cloak, relieving him from a few sweat drops. All right, maybe it was obvious that he was not feeling so great. However, still, no one really cared. "I think I should visit Vexen today… He's a doctor or scientist type thingy. Kind of. I don't know… He's something like that though. Maybe he'll make me feel better."

In the far distance of the castle, in his lab, the said person let out a long and defected scream.

"Marly, Marly, Marly. You should know by now what happens when you annoy Vexen. He'll eat your soul for one. At least, I thought that he would. Nah… He's too skinny. To feminine. Well, Larxene _would _eat your soul so I don't- What? What is wrong with you people?" Everyone was staring at Xigbar slightly confused about what he was actually getting at. The Freeshooter looked around aimlessly while sipping his mysterious coffee. Finally, he could not avert the strange glances away so decided to go back and make up for his random comment. "Never mind dudes, everyone just ignore my comments. Do you know what's going on up there?"

Marluxia frowned, "No… And I'm pretty sure_- sneeze- _that_- sneeze- _that…" Soon everybody covered their faces again and watched as the pink haired man fell head first into a sneezing fit. Once again, no one felt any sympathy for him. No one pitied him. They just wanted him to get away from them for two good reasons.

From the sudden sneezes, the Cloaked Schemer pulled out a purple hospital mask from his clock pocket and placed it over his nose and mouth. Don't ask why it was purple; he just bought it that way assumingly. He usually had to wear the mask when he went outside because any kind of scent was overpowering to him. Especially whenever The Graceful Assassin was around because the man lays on the perfume and beauty products in a brutal manner. Brutal was a harsh word, but it got the point across.

"So… Larxene is on a rampage for no good reason then?" The blond teen asked, now sitting on the ground still on his mission to use Xaldin's hair as a mop, but was- of course- failing. Everyone else in the kitchen was ignoring them, acting as if this was a usual occurrence. It possibly was, Xaldin always had his hair fixed in that way. Amusing, yes?

Xigbar smirked, "Does she ever have a good reason?" The room went silent then, causing the other to let out a snide laugh. "See… That's what I call, my good friends, a no." The eye patched man watches as the rest of the people in the kitchen gave him an evil glare. After that, he hid behind his security blanket, which was his coffee. So what if he looked childish?

"Maybe she's…" he paused and scratched his neck nervously. Maybe it would have been wise to just stay quiet for the moment. "Well… Uh… You know…" Everyone turned to the blond who was now sitting on Kiss the Cook's chest. "Maybe she's PMSing…"

"She's always PMSing!"

"True… true…"

Marluxia- who had finally finished with his sneezing fit- walked around the two in the middle of the kitchen and sat at the white table near Zexion. Carefully, he placed his thudding head on the cold table's surface and groaned in displeasure. The other shrugged as he watched and pulled the mask down a little bit to continue eating his doughnut. It was not his problem to deal with anyway.

Another figure walked gracefully into the room. Gracefully indeed. He did not wear the same black cloaks as the other members. He wore a white dress shirt and black pants. Very fancy indeed. The look on his face told that he had just hit the jackpot and was so greedily in love that he would not share his winnings with anyone. The tall blond man was complete with green tinted poker glasses and a cigarette lit in his mouth. A large smirk was planted across his face at the sorry sight. "Ello, Loves."

"Put that out!" The silver haired man suddenly shot forward from his spot at the table, knocking some random stuff off onto the floor, and darted for the cancer stick. It was the quickest that anyone had ever seen the sixth member move. Smoking bothered the short sliver haired man as much as Marluxia's beauty products. Even more. It would take hours for the smell of smoke to leave him and he did not want to relive those horrid moments this very morning. Damn his powers of enhanced senses.

Luxord shook his head and placed a firm hand on Zexion's forehead, enabling the little one to come any farther. This action caused the other to continuously swat at the other in attempt to hit him, but he failed miserably, just able to hit the air in front of him. From away, one might call it comical. Chuckling slightly, the tall blond looked down at the blond and dark haired nobodies on the floor and raised an eyebrow. That was something that he did not realize earlier. "Um… What exactly has been happening this morning? I do apologize, but did I miss that much?"

The blond started to count off the events on his fingers, still holding the other down with the weight of his body. "Larxene seems to be PMSing for no apparent reason, Axel is going to die sooner or later, I spilled milk all over the floor and myself, Xaldin's hair _will _be used as a mop to clean up the milk, Xigbar drank the wrong kind of coffee-"

He was cut short by the Freeshooter who spit out the coffee that he just had in his mouth. "This… Isn't… Decaf… Is it?"

All heads were shaken, making The Freeshooter sink down to the ground. Great.

"Anyways… Moving on. Saïx laughed and actually seemed halfway human today, Zexion is emo, Marluxia is sick, Vexen is overly dramatic, and then you came in. That's about it…"

In the distance, you could still hear the Chilly Academic yell out his cry of defeat.

Luxord nodded his head and took the cigarette from his mouth, bending down to blow smoke and the strong smell of rum into the Cloaked Schemer's face. He watched as the other began twitching, his eyes soon closing and then soon began to cough. Smirking from the other's reaction, he straightened himself again and brushed off some dirt off his sleeves. "Today seems to be rather interesting already, eh? Hm… Wait a second? Why is Axel dying this time around?"

"We don't really know yet." Roxas answered truthfully while the nobody underneath of the blond pushed him off his body, or at least attempted to. The other was burying his nails deep into the shoulders of the older one to keep from flying off. In the end, Roxas was still on top of the man, smirking. It was obvious that he was not going to give up so easily.

Xigbar was located in the corner of the kitchen, rocking back and forth in the fetal position. Yeah, this was not a very good moment for him right now. Serious issue that he will have to deal with until it begins to wear down. It was surprising that he hadn't realized it earlier, but that could have been because of the screaming, yelling, and the thought of the red head dying. He really did not know what to do since he drank regular coffee and not his decaf. It's happened before… However, he really could not remember what happened during that time. Spooky. Soon, he'll probably be bouncing off the walls, literally.

Zexion returned back to his seat and the tall blond sat on the other side of the pink haired man at the table. That might be a mistake on his part. Marluxia was continuously sneezing into his arm on the table, making him soon regret it. Saïx, who hasn't been part of the conversation was attempting to read his newspaper. Slowly and carefully reading every word since he kept losing his place. Quite possibly it was all the ruckus this morning? Of course, everyone knoew that Roxas and Xaldin were still on the floor in the middle of the room fighting like little children. Xaldin. Little. Ha.

Vexen could be heard in the sudden silence. Once again. Also, Larxene, but she actually had some like of a reason to be screaming.

Zexion, Luxord, and Saïx seemed to be the only sane people who were still in the kitchen. Okay, the close to sane people who were in the kitchen. Yeah, that was a better term for the three. From boredom and from the noise form the girl stories above them creating so much of a ruckus, the British one tried to spark a conversation, "What exactly in bloody hell is that crazy woman looking for?"

The silver haired nobody shook his head, his bangs flopping in his eyes for a slight moment. Yes, it seems that he has missed a lot since he had been out gambling and drinking. Some of his fellow colleges could be so annoying. "I, for one, have no idea in the least."

The newspaper rustled and was set down flat on the table in front of the Luna Divider carefully. Despite it being ripped in half and crumpled from the several nuisance occurrences this day, it was still readable. Surprisingly. There was no way that he could remain in this peaceful state that he had been trying to keep, however. He really did not want to be part of this conversation but found that he had no choice in the matter. By the end of this whole fiasco, he knew that he would have a huge headache. "What it was must have been really important to her."

"Tampons?" Xigbar threw out suddenly jumping head first into their conversation.

"In a house of all guys and one girl… Who in the hell would steal her tampons?"

"Axel would…" The young blond commented smugly.

From the comment, Luxord sighed and tried stealing a piece of the doughnut that Zexion had been trying to eat. When that failed and was swatted away, he rolled him eyes and retorted back with a sly, idle remark. "So would Demyx... but that's only because he doesn't understand what they are used for. That kid is more picturesque than keen for certain." No one thought twice about that. Well, the first part anyways. Only Luxord and Xigbar would speak their opinions on that kind of thing. Again, to prove his logical point that the eye patched man refused to see, he said, "As well as that, if someone stole some from her, then she can easily go out and buy some more!"

"So what could it be then?"

The sliver haired man shook his head, wondering why today- of all days in the world- Larxene had to go apeshit on everything. "It's something that she keeps close to her at all times." Everyone began to think again. Not one of them thought about why in the world they didn't just wait for an explanation. No, they were too busy to ever do something such as that. "What could it possibly be?"

The kitchen got silent when a blond with antenna-like strokes of her hair sticking out of her head and were defying gravity, walked into the kitchen in a rush. Actually, it had seemed that she just jumped all the way down the stairs before turning the corner to face the unseemly crowd. Her appearance was what mainly caused them to shut up, instead of just her frightening aura. Don't worry, that had some take in the situation as well. "Which one of you did it?" Her eyes were reddened and her clothes were torn slightly. Only a few has concluded that she had been crying all this time. All the rest were either too stunned to think since their brains had turned into an unmistakable mush or just were too obvious to notice. "Tell me!"

The Cloaked Schemer shook his head, "What is going on?"

She shot forward and grabbed the front of the man's cloak desperately, "You mean you _don't_ know?"

They acknowledged that they did not know a thing by shaking their heads at her. Feeling brave and semicurious about her behavior, Luxord stepped forward to the girl who seemed as if she was going to burst into tears at any second. "Larxene… here." He placed an arm around the Salvage Nymph's small waist and guided her towards the table gently. "Sit down and tell us what's going on."

A few sniffles escaped her, and she wiped some loose strands of hair back out of her face with her palm uncaringly. It was notable that her voice was still shaking something terrible as she tried to speak once again. "Something's missing, okay? Y-you guys just don't understand what I am going through! You d- don't understand! It is nowhere and I need to find it! I've looked everywhere! Y- you get that? The fate of the world depends on it!"

"Calm down, Larxene. What are you missing?"

As the words passed through her chapped lips, they realized that this was a serious situation. How could this happen, indeed. Surprisingly, the blond was not just being overly dramatic. Big surprise. This was their fate… The world could end if it was in the wrong hands. An apocalypse.

"My blackmail files are missing!"

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-End of Chapter One- Ohh... That could be bad. Wouldn't it? Think of the poor… eh… never mind. Hahhaa. Larxene's blackmail files are missing, Roxas is fighting with Xaldin, Luxord is British, Marly is sick, Zexion is overly emo, Saïx is being realistic, and Xigbar didn't drink decaf… Now the world is ending…? Who knows. You may just have to read on to find out what really happens. Is that too tough? I'm sorry.

Next chapter, Chapter Two! Larxene will try to explain more on the subject of the blackmail files and who in the world that never was must have stolen them. Axel? Axel? Maybe it was Axel? Eh, just continue reading. Hahaha.

Review if you wish, tell me what you think, what's going through your mind. (It would be nice if you review since I am rewriting this.)

YourConscience813


	2. II The Hunt Is On

-Chapter Two- One note that I want to just throw out there for the hell of it, if you want to go and see some pictures of Axel or Reno- cosplay- then you can go to my profile, click on my DeviantART link and see some of the pictures. Yeah, I was totally bored if you could not tell that already. Other than that, I'm really doing nothing but finishing off some work, but sadly not all of it is close to being finished. How sad, right? In the next chapter I actually describe why I haven't been updating as quickly as normal. Just saying, It's A Wonderful Life is still alive! I... I'm just having some complications. Sorry guys.

Anyways, I would like to thank everyone who has read the whole story, who faved this story, alerted the story, and to anyone who have reviewed to the story. Thank you everyone!

Disclaimer: I do not own Kingdom Hearts or its characters or else everything would be very twisted and insane. I also don't own the Matrix, Mountain Dew, eBay, Barbie Girl, Deal or No Deal, Max Payne, Blockbuster, Gamestop, Left 4 Dead, and everything else that you know I do not own.

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All seven nobodies who were in the kitchen were staring at the blond girl intensely as she wept. At first, they were too stunned to remember what they had to do to speak. It was very complicated since her words made their brains instantly turn to mush upon hearing them. When the news finally sank in, Roxas pulled himself off of the Whirlwind Lancer to speak. "Wait… I don't understand. What exactly do you mean by… Your blackmail files are missing?"

The Savage Nymph was being comforted- or at least trying to be- by Luxord. He was running a hand up and down her back. It was not like she would admit it, but it actually was helping. It felt good also. Slowly, she wiped the tears away from her eyes before she attempted to speak. "What- What do you think I- I mean you twerp? My blackmail files are _gone_! I can't find them _anywhere_! This is in plain English! Someone must have stolen it! And you know who did it, right?"

Xigbar was waving his hands wildly in the air, causing the others to quirk an eyebrow at his behavior. "Oh! Oh! Pick me! I know! _Pick me_!"

Dramatically, Larxene gasped when seeing how hyperactive the other had become. Everything began to click in her mind. Her lips turned into a clear frown, "Who gave you real coffee?" Shaking her head, she then looked at the others in the room. All of them were raising their hands like the Freeshooter. Although, being silent was the one thing that separated them from the other. Thank the world for that, she would not know what to do with many Xigbars running around. "Hm… Let me see… Okay. Mar-Mar, you take a wild guess at it."

"Yes! Hahaa… Larxene loves me more then you!" He did a little victory dance before turning to Xigbar. While doing the dance, everyone looked around for the bottle of pills he took. Seriously, this could not be just a side effect of the cold pills, would it? No, he is way too hyper and happy for that. Plus he did not take any medicine yet. He was being way too lazy to get up and get it. "In your face, Pirate!"

The blond girl took a dish out of a cabinet and threw it at the back of the pink haired man's head. It was not as affective as her knives, but she was too busy planning on what she was going to do to the red head once he was in her clutches. Those knives would work their own little magic. The thought of it made her smirk evilly in her mind, but on the outside, she was still pissed off at the pink haired man. "Just get on with it! We apparently do not have all day!"

Tenderly, Marluxia rubbed the back of his head where the dish had shattered once it made contact. How he had turned completely around, he had no clue. Maybe he flinched? "Ow… You know-_sneeze_- that hurts!" Once more he sneezed, ducking slightly as he did, missing the dishes that were being thrown at him for a second time. Or maybe he just sneezed. "Okay, okay! It's Axel, of course it would be Axel! Who else would be stupid enough to do that? Seriously. You would cut _it _off and start to feed _it _to us if we ever touched your blackmail files."

The others nodded in agreement at The Graceful Assassin's claim even though the last part made most of them cringe. Whether it was the way that he had said it or the fact that she actually might do it made them nervous. However, Luxord was still patting Larxene on the back, being one of the few that did not flinch. That was because he had heard that threat plenty of times before this. Some things just did not faze him anymore. "So _all _of your blackmail files are missing, love? You did say _ALL _of them, right?"

The blond girl wiped her eyes, causing them to become even more irritated. "Yes, Brit. All of my files are missing. I looked for them in all the places that I stash them and _everything_ was missing! I have no clue how he could have found them all! Axel must have been looking hard."

The youngest of the organization quirked an eyebrow. "That can't be right… Axel never pays attention to anything- well…_ Certain _things he pays attention to."

"Like your ass…" Xigbar mumbled just loud enough for the teen to hear. Once he received the evil glare, he picked up his cup of _real_ coffee and began to drink some again. He felt as if he was going to need all the energy he could get to go through the day. Even if he was drinking something that was dangerously addictive to him. "You can be in denial all you want, kid. Not my problem."

"He stares at your ass just as much as he stares at mine, Pirate."

Right then, Zexion pulled down his hospital mask, glaring at everyone. "He stares at everyone's ass so it makes no difference so you don't have to fight over him." There were a few moments of silence as they all stared at the silver haired man who had just made a very truthful comment. Yeah, that really did sound like the feisty red head. Then they all put that aside so Roxas could take out his Keyblades and Xigbar his guns, pointing them at the emo kid. Once again, the silver haired man pulled down his mask. "What are you going to do, now? Kill me?" Bland and to the point. The two looked at each other then summoned their weapons away. "I didn't think so."

"So…" Larxene was crossing her arms, frowning at the blond teen. "You say that you don't think that Axel was capable to do such a thing?"

"No… I'm saying that… Actually. What _am_ I saying? I think for a minute there I was actually defending his case! Seriously? What is the world coming to? Break out the pitchforks and let's go after him. I don't care if he actually stole them or not… It's 'kill the bitch' time."

"Hooray!"

"Angry mob!"

"Woohoo!"

The Cloaked Schemer was now standing on top of the round kitchen table, trying to get the group of nobodies- who just turned into an angry mob in less than two seconds- attention. It took a while, but it was odd to see him on a table like that, and very noticeable. Once he had their attention for a bit, he spoke. Or at least attempted to. "Before we go to have fun killing Axel and such, maybe we should-"

"Hey lookie, dudes…" Xigbar pointed to the nobody on the table and laughed. Yeah, very apparent that he should lay off the real coffee. Sometimes, picking fights with other members was not a very great idea. For some reason, he missed that memo. "Lookie, the emo kid is actually taller than us for once… Heh, heh…Barely. He just meets the top of Saïx's hair-Ah!"

In frustration, the silver haired man ripped off his mask before jumping on the back of the Freeshooter, clawing at his good eye. It was a pretty amusing sight to see as long as you were not in the other man's point of view. A few people were actually snickering. "I am going to kill you if you do not shut up! I cannot tolerate you any longer!" The nobody beneath him was screaming for his life as he tried to pry the other off of his back. Somehow, it just made the other angrier, and the crowd happier. "That's right, b-!"

_BEEP!_

"Please stand by as we try to free the emo from the pirate's eye, loves." Luxord said, being one of the many members who were snickering from the scene that was unraveling in front of his eyes. Seeing his mortal enemy getting hurt by someone half his size for free made this the best day of his life thus far. Or none existent life, he would suppose. "Maybe we should start investing in making commercial breaks when this kind of things happens, eh?"

"That would make these things much simpler." The blond haired girl agreed. "But this is so much more entertaining than any friggin' commercial. Roll the cameras!" Quickly, she pulled out a video camera from inside of her cloak, making Luxord gawk at her for a moment. Obviously, she did not realize his reaction because she was too busy making a new blackmail file at the moment. To her, that was way more important.

"You keep a camera in your bra?"

Larxene gave the Gambler a deadpanned expression, a tiny hint of a blush arising on her cheeks. However, she her mouth then formed into a frown as she continued to watch the other eye up and down her body. "Well… I have to keep it somewhere! It's not like I'm a guy who can shove thirty million things into their pockets! I have to keep my form!"

Ten minutes later…

Now is when they had to call Lexaeus to the kitchen.

The silver haired man was slung over the large one's shoulder, still cursing at the other nobody. Kicking and screaming the whole time did not bother the other man as much as hearing the once calm and reasonable nobody spurring lines of curse words at a fellow member. It was no like him at all. Kind of scary. Xigbar, who was laying face up on the titled floor, had an X mark replacing his once good eye. A little drool was running out of the corner of his mouth. Zexion pushed on the broad shoulder that was holding him as he turned towards the other who was probably still seeing stars, "You just wait, Freeshooter! You will regret this!"

"Ooohhh pretty sparkles…"

"Brilliant!" Luxord screamed, jumping up into the air. It was so British that nobody could question the outburst. "We have a product for our commercial now, love. It's called…" He pointed to Lexaeus, who just walked out of the room with Zexion with a big 'I present you' gesture. "EMO BE GONE!"

"This will make millions!" They crooked their heads to the side as happy thoughts about being rich and probably leaving the Organization to go live in Costa Del Sol ran through their minds. Who cares if you really had a heart or not when you had cash? Fame and money makes everyone's -even a measly nobody's- world go round. Then she showed him the video tape of the fight, "You think that this will help?"

"Brilliant!"

About ten _more _minutes later…

Zexion was sitting at the kitchen table, in-between Lexaeus and Marluxia- who by now got off his lazy ass to take some cold medicine. The tiny man muttered some things underneath his breath at the man who was still drinking _real _coffee across the room, while holding an icepack to his eye. He swore that he was born from pure evil. How dare he challenge the power of a lexicon. The silver haired man tugged hard at his arms while replaying the whole fight over again in his mind.

"No, no Zexy." Mar-Mar cooed, annoyingly. "You don't want to hurt yourself while you're in that straitjacket, now do you?" He watched as the other's lower lip quivered slightly before he rested his head upon the table, banging it gently at first then increasing the force each time. For some odd reason, he thought that was a natural reaction and ignored him, thinking that if he would knock himself out that the Silent Hero would do something about it.

The youngest member shook his head, "Okay… Now that _that_ incident is over with… Can we talk about the blackmail files again? Because… We _need_ to find them… _Desperately_!"

Xaldin- finally back in the picture- pointed to the clock with a gloved hand. At other members turned to see what he was pointing at and came to the same conclusion. "It's only five minutes till seven; we have the whole day to look for them. Why should we all go looking for them in the morning when we can wait a little longer? It is not like that blackmail files are going to be going anywhere anytime soon.

"That's not _it_! Don't you get it?" Roxas grabbed the front of the older man's robe, bringing him down to his eyelevel. Bringing him down, down, down to his eye level. Enough to make the other's back hurt from bending over too far. Yes, there were no shortages or short jokes. Roxas was not short, he's just fun size. "Can you even come to imagine what Axel is doing- or planning on doing- to all of our stuff? Do you? The internet!" The small blond began shaking the other in frustration and panic quite melodramatically. However, it did get the point across quite nicely. "There's the internet!"

"Yeah… He may post them on some website for all the crazy fan girls and guys can gawk over them… Dude!" Xigbar cried out while taking the icepack off his eye, showing the reddened swollen puffiness around it. Then he thought about what he had just said in his mind. "Not like I'm complaining or anything… Some of the stuff that they post online is hilarious. But… Those fangirls… Some of them really freak me out, dudes. Have you seen what they do to people like us? Do you? _Do_ you?"

Zexion raised his head up quickly, halting his constant head banging for a while. It took a few seconds for the pain to ease down enough for him to finally get a word in. Yes, he was regretting his actions now, feeling himself slip into the clutches of a migraine. "Larxene… How did you know that your blackmail files were missing?"

Every nobody in the kitchen gave the Cloaked Schemer a deadpanned expression. It was possible that they thought his IQ lowered from the head-banging-off-the-table-repeatedly incident from earlier or from just being about Xigbar for longer than five seconds. Not missing a beat, the blond woman scoffed, "I told you before… I looked and they were nowhere to be seen. They were missing."

"Where were they missing from, Larxene?"

She placed a hand on her chin, rubbing it as she thought. Her other hand was on her hip, her posture almost perfect as she continued her thought process. Every nobody in the kitchen remained quiet, in silent anticipation on what the other was going to tell. Children settling down for story time. "Well… I always keep my blackmail files separate so someone can't find all of them. I have a system and maybe a little OCD. Only a little. I always check everyday." Maybe a little too compulsive… The others rose an eyebrow as she continued to explain, waiting for the climatic ending. Holding their breath. Carefully, she thought some more. "I usually keep the main stash…"

The world holds onto the edge of their seats, waiting for the all too common question to finally be answered.

If someone had blinked, they would have missed the short event that had taken place. It probably only lasted a few seconds. The silver haired man tipped his chair backwards just in time to avoid being hit by the silverware that was being thrown at his head. It was matrix mode to the extreme. Since the young nobody was currently laying on his back at the moment, he could not see that Larxene was literally foaming at the mouth with anger. "I'm not going to tell you where I keep all my files! Why would I do something as stupid as that, huh? Did you really believe that I would be that stupid to fall for something as lame as that? Lame. _Lame_."

The Gambler of Fate began to back away from the blond's wrath. "Uh… Love? I, uh, I think you should-" Speedily, he summoned a card to shielded him from the large qualities of kitchen utensils that were now aimed for him. Well… She took that lightly, didn't she? He poked his bleached blond head around the card quickly, flashing her a quick smile before retreating once again. One could never be too sure of one's reaction. "Never mind then, love. Continue."

Unexpectedly, Larxene actually stopped. Stopped completely. Frozen. Once more, one could never be too sure of one's reaction. Especially if it was from a girl who looked as if she had down twenty Mountain Dews in the past few hours and was now on an insane caffeine buzz. Her arms relaxed a bit and slumped down to her sides. The items that were in her hands slipped from her fingers and clanked on the tiled floor. Sighing, her eyes slid closed, "You guys need to help me find my blackmail files." It was strange. The tone of her voice was different, almost caring. "I swear… That asshat has to have it!"

Roxas looked at the other nobodies for a brief conformation before nodding his head. "Of course we'll find them for you, Larxene. The files are just as important to us as to you. Seriously. We _need _those. At least when they were in your hands we knew that they only went on eBay when we did something wrong." To agree, the other members nodded along. "Then… once we find Axel… We'll kill him."

"No, no, no, no! Absolutely not!"

"Larxene… You have to realize the situation that we are in as well." Smooth, Roxas had worked the blond girl into one of his little mind traps. Wasn't the Cloaked Schemer suppose to be the one to do that sort of thing? However, the young member knew exactly what he was doing, which impressed some of the other nobodies greatly. "We have every right to kill Axel as you do. He screwed with us, we get to screw with his face. You know how he always makes comments about his _pretty little face_, right? We'll break it." The sweat-talkin' Roxas said, the others still nodding their heads behind of him. All that they _could_ do was agree at this point. "We need to make a deal."

There was a large huff of air. Many of the nobodies had a feeling that the girl had deflated. Or _something _had deflated. Now _that_ would be bad, but somehow hilarious. Eventually, Larxene found that all she could do was grin and bear it. That showed how desperately she needed those blackmail files back. "Fine, fine. Here's the dealio. You need to find all of my files. ALL of them, understand. I highly doubt that all the files are together, since they put an effort into collecting all the files to begin with. That was determination in it's finest form. When you find one file… you bring it to me and I'll write your name on the white board that's in the library… Yes, you can find me in the library. That is my headquarters for now on, alright? Every file you bring me… I'll give you a piece of your blackmail file."

The kitchen was silent. If they had known any better, they would have thought that they had suffered a heart attack.

With one finger wagging, she finished with a final statement to her deal. This was the true form of Deal or No Deal. All that they needed now was some dramatic music and they would be good to go. "But this can only happen if you cooperate with me and bring the red headed moron to me, alive and well."

"Huh… Wait a sec, wait a sec, am I sure I'm hearing ya right? You- You mean that we'll finally be able to get some of our private moments back? Back for good? Away from the fear of you selling them on eBay to crazy people and make money off of our secret lives?" This was possibly when Xigbar reached his breaking point for the morning. Real coffee or not, the news was just shocking enough to put a mentally stable person into the Looney-bin. "Dud-Dude! Ya _really_ serious?" Slowly, Larxene nodded her head, "I'm serious, the world is coming to an end!"

The silver haired man- who was brought back up to the sitting position by the Silent Hero since _someone_ had forgotten about him until now- began to thinkto himself. _'If this is the World That Never Was… How can it really end? If it never was, then it had never existed, and therefore, can never end. Or can it, since it does have form but does not truly exist? Doesn't many things end that do not truly exist? We cannot see them, nor prove that they are actually there, but somehow they do exist. Like Nobodies. Oh, forget it, this is getting far too complicated and is a distraction from the real action afoot.'_

Just as he was pulled away from his thoughts, Marluxia shot up out of his seat to wrap his arms around the blond woman. It could only be described as the most over-exaggerated glomp in the history of the world. As well, if it could get anymore animated, the pink haired man would be walking on sunshine and pink harts would be bubbling from above his head. That was how dreamy the situation had become. "You know, Larx, I think that I was wrong about you…"

"Get _off_ me!"

'_You know what? I think I actually might go back to thinking about my theories. They save me from the embarrassing fact that I actually know these people personally.'_

"Aw… But Larx-Baby…" Has anyone ever seen a smart-time shopper snag a hold of a good deal? A robber snatching his loot? A child clutching onto his favorite blanket or teddy bear? They are all holding on with a death grip, aren't they? That was the kind of hold that the pink haired man had on the girl as he rubbed his nose against her neck briskly. Still, the thought of Marluxia holding onto a 'I'm a Barbie Girl' t-shirt while pushing others away with his purse will never leave one's mind. "I wuv you!"

"I said _get off_, you flower faggot!" She squealed, pushing Marluxia away and onto the floor in one fluid movement. "Shouldn't you be with that sciencebitch right about now?"

"Don't get Vexen stared again!" Practically every nobody screamed at the same time- besides Lexaeus who has no clue what's going on this morning. Plus Lexaeus would not voice a word on the subject. Noted by the name Silent Hero. He would just sit there… Probably lift something. Something such as that.

"Wait, wait, wait. Let me make sure that I'm hearing ya right, 'kay? So… So ya mean that it's a scavenger hunt? We find the stuff and get rewarded. You mean that it's a scavenger hunt, right? Huh, Larx-Baby?"

In a blink of an eye, there were sharp daggers pointed to the bare throat of the Freeshooter. That instantly made him freeze. Had he spoken just a little out of term? "What did you just call me, ninja surfer pirate idiot?" Yes, yes he had. Once he cowered away into a small dark corner and started rocking back and forth in the fetal position, she summoned her weapons away. "And yes… If you want to look at it that way. It's like a scavenger hunt, more or less. The more things that you give me… The more things taken out of your blackmail file."

The blond teen was waving his hand in the air rapidly.

"Yes, Roxas?"

"How much is Axel worth?"

Larxene put a hand to her chin in deep thought. Yet again, another time today when she had to overwork her brain in a long thought process sequence. "Well… Let me see…" Thinking could not be this difficult, could it? Seriously, Zexion has to do it all the time. He is probably thinking about the whole world ending thing right now. Thinking just shouldn't be _this_ hard! After a few more seconds she clasped her hands together satisfyingly. Thank goodness for that. "Okay, I got it! You will not believe what I will have in store for you if you bring me the red head. Axel… With him, your file will be completely erased." Silence. Wait, _what_? Did people dare not to _breathe_? When there was no response to the deal, she added, "You can see how much I want to kill him, don't you?"

They nodded their heads, then in three seconds vacated the kitchen in a hurry.

Time for the real fun. The fun that people would by tickets to. If Larxene would have installed those camera's like she wanted to months ago, she could sell the tapes for millions. All the members of Organization XIII were running around the hallways in a rush, scrambling around to find something that could make their chances of finding Axel first, much greater. Anything that looked helpful was searched through. Every couch and chair was turned over. All that really could be found were loose change and some paperclips. Bookcases were searched through, DVD cases were opened, even CD cases were not safe from the treasure hunters. Well, at least they will remember that they still need to bring Max Payne back to Blockbuster and Left 4 Dead to Gamestop. Who knew that Nobodies had so much crap? The Castle That Never Was had turned into a true madhouse at seven o'clock in the damn morning.

Xigbar was standing upside-down on the ceiling as fellow nobodies rushed from one point to another beneath him. Loudly, he cheered, "The hunt is on!"

The bleached blond was standing on the ground below the Freeshooter, off to the side enough to not get ran over by other members. His blue eyes watched the other in wonder, his thoughts running swiftly through his mind. One thought stopping enough so the blond could get a clear idea of what he should do next. His next plan. A smirk appeared on his face. Oh la la, how suave he is. "Today… Just might be a great day after all."

* * *

End of Chapter Two! Hmmm… I wonder what Luxord is thinking… Who would know, anyways. Zexion! Sorry… Hahaha… Also, I bet you that Xigbar will have to get another eye patch because of Zexion! That silly little minx. Then Luxord and Larxene could sell millions with the _EMO BE GONE _product. Oh yes, everyone should have that product under their sink. Sorry for me sounding so hyper and joyful. I stayed up all night editing and working on college english projects. That also means that I was on here all night reading some stories.

Next chapter, Chapter Three! I'm… I've been playing a lot of Left 4 Dead lately and Resident Evil 5. I love Ellis so much so I always play as him in the second game and on the first, the one and only, Bill. I have yet to get the Passing which is okay since I don't want to see Bill... But Ellis and Zoey makes me laugh so much. Ha ho ho... Plus there is zombies... That's why I love Resident Evil and such. Eh, I'm really random right now and I'm eating watermelon yogurt. It's my trademark now. I'm going to be on Dmy computer working for the rest of the night, I suppose.

Review if you wish, tell me what you think, what's going through your mind. (It would be nice if you review since I am rewriting this.)

YourConscience813


	3. III One Little Detail

-Chapter Three- This, as everyone can read, is chapter three. If you can't read, then I only have one question for you. Why are you even on here? Yes. Anyway, I'm still not having a life as many others know. Pretty much all I'm doing... Well... I went to an art school for my drawing and such and had to stay at the college for twenty-one days during the summer and had no time to work so that is why everything is behind schedule. That and ( Yes I am taking Claire Redfield's excuse ) I have a new boyfriend and he doesn't let me get any rest. Oh well, I am loving having someone as strange as I am. Well, there goes the rest of my excuses for not updating anything for the longest time. I hope that you all understand my whole... Situtaion. That even though I have no life, I have to do my other shit too, sadly. -_is shot_-

Anyways, I would like to thank everyone who has read the whole story, who faved this story, alerted the story, and to anyone who have reviewed to the story. Thank you everyone!

Disclaimer: I do not own Kingdom Hearts or its characters or else everything would be very twisted and insane. I don't own jeopardy music.

* * *

"Oi, Xigba'"

The voice was light and cheery, which should have raised suspicion in the other at once. Of course, that would have only happened if he were not on a caffeine high at that exact moment. Why? Seriously, why? He titled his head down- or up from his view- at the Gambler below him. Luxord made a motion for the other to join him on the ground, which made Xigbar hesitantly move downwards. Wow, he was actually listening to someone for once. What a bloody surprise. Once he had both feet on the ground Luxord wrapped an arm around his neck.

"Let me talk to you, eh?" Negotiator Luxord! All he really needed now to suit his urbane persona was a slim black tuxedo and a red rose in his front pocket of the jacket. Spiffy and a bit ritzy, just the way he was meant to be imagined. The blond smiled at the thought of it. They began to walk down a hallway that was away from the kitchen. It was dark, but the fake moon infamously known as Kingdom Hearts reflected off the marble titling. Damn, it was a bit blinding. The Superior really knows how to decorate a castle, doesn't he? Why does everything reflect the light? "So, Xigba'. I gots a deal for ya, aye?"

Nodding, the other said, "I don't speak Pirate, but go on."

"Ironic…" His voice was lower as he approached closer to the Freeshooter's face. "My declaration is… Hows about this time… We work together to find the blackmail files. We'll split them up, share'n share alike! You know that the others won't be able to find anything working alone! But you and I, we could be brilliant! Bloody brilliant, I say."

Xigbar pulled lightly on his ponytail, listening to the other. "But-"

Negotiator Luxord was on a roll at the moment and started going off by himself. Xigbar didn't exist in the Gambler's own little world. "Just think Xigba'! We could have our blackmail files practically erased if we find all those juicy sweet blackmail files of goodness. Then we could split up at the very end to look for Axel by ourselves- cuz Axel is fair game. It's every man for himself with that little bugger. You know?"

"Wait- What? But, Luxord-!"

"Don't you think that this idea is positively brilliant? Bloody brilliant… I mean, mate, we both would win in the end, wouldn't we? Aye, Larxene has a lot of blackmail files. So 'course it will be easy to find them. They're probably hidden somewhere together. Which makes it so much easier for us. Right? Correct!" It took him a few moments to realize that he was turned around to face the window, away from the other member. His arms were outstretched in a wide manner, exaggerating his plan with great and mighty body motions. Slowly, he spun around on his heels to focus his blue eyes to the other's yellow orbs that had been widened in shock during the whole presentation. "This is what I present to you. Hows 'bout yous and me join forces, that's what I mean."

In a blink of an eye, Xigbar pulled out one of his guns and pointed it directly at the blond's temple. The quick motion made a whoosh noise in the air beside Luxord's ear and made his earrings jingle slightly. The other gave the blond a cold look. "Okay, bucko. First things first… One… Are you drunk?" Laughing slightly at the nonsense, he shook his head. "Okay… Now that we got that one out of the way… Two… Are you insane?" Again, the other shook his head. "That's… Good to hear… Not believable but who am I to complain?"

With two fingers, the blond coolly pushed the gun away from his direction. Smooth. A knowing look could be found in his eyes but Xigbar seemed to be more interested in getting his answers. "If I may ask… What is the point of asking me this?"

"Don't you remember? We're rivals at everything!"

Luxord sighed, slowly tilting his head downwards to the ground and slipping his eyelids shut. All he needed to do was put on a little show for his friend here and gain his trust. In his head, he knew exactly how he would do it. Thinking through the plan one last time before slowly bringing his index finger to his left temple, not opening his eyes yet. "Yes, yes… I do, in fact, remember." A smirk suddenly made its way upon the blond's face. No, no, he had to keep his cool suave attitude. His eyebrows furrowed as his eyes opened, the look of pain written plain on his face. Oh, how he could bullshit all those little emotions. "It's hard, still being able to feel the slightest of feelings but knowing you don't have any. I can still feel the pain or anguish. Looking back on all those times that we fought over… the silliest of things… I start to feel bad about it."

From the long and heart wrenching acting, Xigbar crooked his head to the side in confusion. Wow, he was actually falling into the Gambler of Fate's trap. On the other hand, maybe it was just the coffee that had impaired his judgment. "Really? You, oh high and mighty Number Ten, feel bad about us fighting?"

"Oh, of course, mate! That's why I declare that this time we work together. We'll be able to blow the other members away if we work together. Two can cover over so much territory. It takes two, Xigba', do you not see that?" With that declaration, the blond pulled off a cunning smirk to go along with his pile of shit he laid out on the platter. All of it was up for grabs. The only problem was whether or not the other would take the bait. Now he must play the small and painless waiting game as the other member thought it through. "Whatcha say, mate?"

There was a pause as the other took a step back, his eye wondering off to the side. That was a blessing on Luxord's part since he was sure that the sinister grin upon his lips would probably give everything away quickly. A gloved finger rubbed against Xigbar's chin. His own, don't worry. It would be somewhat strange if a random hand came out of nowhere, wouldn't you think? "Well, Number Ten… I say…" He looked like he was thinking it over thoroughly, noted by his eyebrows being furrowed, the rubbing of the chin, and a small vein being popped out of the skin on his forehead. Yes, thinking it through indeed. Some members would say that they had never seen the Freeshooter think so hard before. Sadly, he drove right into the platter on his own free will, placing a smirk on his own face. "I say… that's bloody brilliant!"

At that exact point of time, Larxene and Saïx were walking down that hallway, overhearing what the Freeshooter had announced. Even though they thought that it was rather strange to see the two nobodies conversing without their weapons at one another's throats, they had more pressing matters to deal with. That did not stop Larxene from saying what was on her mind. The blond pointed at the ponytailed nobody, "You can't do a British impression. You fail at life! Fail!"

The two stood there in confusion from the sudden outburst. Although, it was quite expected from someone like Larxene since most referred t her as someone who starts with a 'B' and ends in an 'itch.' They watched carefully as she strolled past them then noticed that Saïx was following close behind her. Again, things seemed to be rather odd this very morning. Coolly and calmly, he closed his yellow orange eyes as he passed by, "Powned."

After they were already making their way out of the hallway, Luxord fumbled around for something to say to that remark. "It seems like I should say something smart."

Placing a lone hand on the other member's shoulder, "You don't have to say anything at all."

It took around three long and good minutes to get over what had just happened. Then the gears in their brains began to turn and their normal functions were resumed. Luxord spun on his heels to face Xigbar completely, standing up straight in full attention. "Well then," He began quickly and cheerfully with a charming smile, patting Xigbar on the head like a puppy. The action did not get any weird or strange reactions, only diverting the other's attention to the charismatic blond. That made Luxord even more chipper than before. "Good boy. I'm glad that you agreed to my offer. You ready to go find some blackmail?"

"Aye aye, Captain Luxord."

"Aha, I knew you were an actual pirate. Anyhoo…" The longhaired man felt the strong and desiring need to palmface himself at that typical stereotype. Sure, he had an eye patch. Sure, he did, at first glace, look like a pirate. However, if anyone really took in account on everything else he _did_ look like, he would be known as Pirate-Surfer-Sniper-Elfman-Ninja-Dude. Thank Moogle that he wasn't. Quickly, the blond clasped his gloved hands together to gesture that he wanted to get this show on the road. "Oh, good! Then there is the tiny little detail that we have to deal with first…"

* * *

Roxas walked down one of the many hallways of the castle aimlessly. He did not really care that much about the whole deal. Well, he did care about what could become of his blackmail files, but there was the reassuring fact that he has not been here for that long. It couldn't be as bad as some of the other member's, right? Of course not…. Larxene only caught him in a few little… Things… Situations. Situations that were perfectly understandable if they were explained… Possibly. In addition, he sure as hell was not going to go looking around for something that _Axel _hid. Seriously, why would he? Hell, they couldn't even find _him_. Of course they were going to take forever to actually find the things that he hid! Axel is one little sneaky freak.

So there he was, trying to step in the middle of each tile. Boredom does things to the mind. Earlier when everyone left the kitchen and began this little hunt, he tried to review all the places that Axel could be hiding. However, all this thinking about a certain annoying red head and his juvenile ways hurt his brain too much. All he really wanted was for all this to be over and they could go back to having a normal morning. Wait, no… He hated missions. He was usually paired up with Axel or someone who would make fun of him. Well, the red head did make fun of him a lot more than others, but usually he could stand it. Also, Axel actually helped him during missions instead of the other members who would take a step back and want to see the Keybarer in his prime and glory. If people looked past Axel's constant practical jokes and his cocky nature, he was a good guy.

Roxas stopped on a square tile perfectly, diverting his eyes from his shoes, to the reflective tiles in front of him, to the window beside of him. Kingdom Hearts locked gazes with him. A sad reminder. "Fake emotions. Right."

"Now!"

Before he even knew what was coming, his body tensed up. No move was made to turn around as something hard hit the back of Roxas' head. The force behind it made the younger nobody topple over, his head hitting hard against the tile. Oh yes, shiny tiles indeed, he could really tell now. A few groans escaped him as a bump on his head began to form. Hoping that he didn't have a concussion, he tried turning around to see what had happened. That did not work out so well. As he tried to look over his shoulder, there was a pulled muscle in his neck that told him not to move. Some of the voices behind him became clearer after he laid there for a while. There was confusion. A whole lot of confusion.

Luxord's eyes were narrowed at once. Wow, why didn't he realize that this was going to be more complicated than working side by side with a _normal _person? Slowly, he turned his entire body to the other who was smiling, avoiding eye contact with his -obviously angry- companion. "You- You threw your guns at him! _Threw_?"

"Well… I wasn't gonna shoot the kid…"

His face was twisted in an unpleasant expression. "I'm being serious about this Xigba'. How injudicious are you, really? I would like to know the answer to the friggin' question. Please humor me with this ghastly and surreptitious answer. Tell me. So far in this catastrophic journey, you have not proven to me that you want my help. Not one bit sadly. You need my help to get all the blackmail files, correct? Well take your irresponsible and thoughtless actions and put them to good use!"

"I actually have no clue in the world what you had just said, dude. I mean, do you want me to think out my actions carefully to do something right… Or do you want me to act normally to do something awesome. Tell me what you want because more than likely you are going to slit my throat with your cardy-card things. It won't be good. The floor tile is shiny, you see… And very distracting. Don't make it dirty by using my blood to paint a masterpiece." The Freeshooter summoned his weapons to his sides since he was way too lazy to go over a few feet to pick them up. Using his right gun to scratch the back of his neck, he continued, "So, whatcha want me to do again?"

"The Superior should really rethink the numbering in this Organization. It is extremely possible that numbering members by when they joined was just a horrendous idea, mate." Rubbing at his temples briefly, he noticed that the younger blond had turned over to sit down, facing them both. Oh great, now the kid realizes that we're here. Sighing, he gestured to the other male. "Can you believe that I'm working with this imbecile?"

"Uh… Actually… No…"

The Freeshooter scrambled to look Luxord directly in the eyes. Determination was written clear across his face, which, frankly, scared the hell out of the Gambler. "I know that I can do it, Lux. Gimme a chance! I can do it!"

Once again, Roxas was caught off guard as the Freeshooter lunged towards him. There was absolutely no way to dodge the attack either since all that was seen was the Nobody… Getting closer and closer. Too close. The small blond was crushed by the other's sudden weight on top of his body. As well as all of that, his head hit against the tiled floor for a second time. Another large bump had begun to form. "Holy mother of Moogle!"

"See, Lux, I did it!" It was so childish and the Gambler wondered if he had actually gotten in to some crack this morning. Nevertheless, it was a job well done. Luxord simply clapped at the show that was performed in front of his very eyes. Xigbar was holding down Roxas, Roxas looked like he was about to pass out at any given second and the Gambler of Fate seemed pretty amused by the whole situation. Surprisingly, he though the plan was going good.

"Get off of me! What the hell is wrong with you this morning? You're more of a freak than usual!" Kicking and screaming did nothing to the member that was on top of him. Wow, he really did feel like he was going to pass out. "God, you're like deadweight here… Do you turn into a rapist when you drink _real _coffee or something like that? It's the _real coffee_, isn't it? Why is it always the short one that gets trapped in these psycho situations? Why is it always me? Wouldn't you think that the drama would follow someone else? Why is it me? Why do I always fall into those plotholes of doom? Why is it that-"

There was an enormous sound that bounced off the walls of the hall, quickly cutting off Roxas and his rant. His eyes found the source, making him frown even more. Luxord had ripped off a piece of duct tape off the roll and began to make his way over to them. The sound of his boots on the floor became louder and louder with each step, making him twist and turn in the hold he was in. Now is when he really began to panic. "But of course, young Roxas, it always has to be about you. You are the Keybarer. However, this has nothing to do with Kingdom Hearts. Only about a little game of hide-and-seek, you see. You can catch on really quick, aye?" Then he took a good look at the Freeshooter who was lying on top of him. "Well, it _is _much easier to fool him this way. Luck was on my side." In an odd way, he giggled to himself manically. "Isn't it always, though? Right love?"

The Key of Destiny narrowed his eyes at the smirking blond. If he wasn't being held down right now, he would be giving the other a nice little makeover with his Keyblade. "I knew something was up. You two would never work together unless… Well… Unless it was the end of the world. Or if he was drugged or something. That reason would be perfectly understandable as well…"

"True… Oh so very true…" Advancing closer made the blond teen squirm even more, trying to free himself so he could open a portal of darkness. It was when the older blond was practically face to face with him that he has officially given up all hope. Luxord grinned delightfully, "Now don't move… I don't want this any more difficult than it already is for the mate and I. Alright, pup?"

It took a few minutes to tie the teen's hands and feet together due to his useless attempts of escaping. Once he was securely tied up, Xigbar got up and stood next to his 'partner'. They looked down at where Roxas was squirming, kicking, and doing whatever he really could to get out of there. All of his attempts had failed miserably once more. That made the Gambler laugh sadistically.

"Why are you two even doing this? It's utterly pointless! I don't know where he is hiding and I don't want to know! I'm not even looking for him and those damn blackmail files! I don't have anything to do with the situation so you should let me go. Seriously! You two are _insane_."

"I know, love. We're evil and stupid or whatever you had blabbered on about. Yes, yes, yes, uh huh, uh huh, uh huh. We believe you." The tone that Luxord had drove the blond insane, making him even more pissed off than before. The older blond only shrugged his shoulders as he broke off a large piece of duct tape and smirked. "Oh, lookie here."

Uncaringly, he slapped it on the blond's mouth, silencing him, which made Xigbar laugh. "Aw… That was a prefect fit."

"That should keep him quiet for the time being."

The Freeshooter turned to the nobody beside of him. "So… Where are we going to stash him?"

"Come on… Think for once in your poor excuse for a life, Xigba'. Seriously, sometimes I just don't know what to do with you." Negotiating Luxord has now turned into the Bitchy Luxord in Xigbar's mind. "Just think. Please. I say please to all this... Where is the one place in this castle… That you_ cannot _go in and out using a portal of darkness?"

The jeopardy music began to play. "Uh… Um… The bathrooms?"

Frowning, the blond slapped the back of the other's head in frustration. "No, not the bathrooms, you fool!" Then he thought about it, blinking a few times "Yeah… There are the bathrooms but what _other _place is there?"

* * *

"Jolly ol'good day, isn't it Vexen…?" The scientist had his door wide open to star at the two men with a confusing gaze. They do not look injured, the Superior did not sign any of his 'human experiment' forms, and they certainly were not going to help him around the lab. His 'I'm going to get screwed over' radar was going off like crazy at that moment in time. "You know… We were just in the neighborhood and such when we put two heads together and said, 'hey, we don't appreciate Vexen enough. ' I mean… You do so much for the Organization. I mean, com'on… You… You…" Smooth, real smooth. Luxord looked at the other Nobody beside him for help, which he received none. "Well… You do too many things to count. Anyhoo, we wanted to give you a present, and before you ask, Marluxia did not have a part in this." A loud _thud _was heard as the Freeshooter dropped the brown unmarked bag onto the floor of the room. Luxord smiled as he continued on, "Do with it to your… 'heart's' consent… Just…" Xigbar and Luxord exchanged glances for a brief moment, "It can't leave this room."

The bronzed haired scientist took turns eyeing the bag and eyeing the two imbeciles that were giving off cheesy smiles to the other. Yeah, his radar was sounding the alarms now. There was no way that he would leave with his dignity intact. Somehow, he had more pressing matters on his mind and needed to cut the meeting short. As short as possible. "I have a quick question before I can accept the gift."

The bleached blond pulled at the collar of his cloak. _'Oh no, oh no! He's going to find out! He knows! Of course he'll find out, he hangs out with Zexion all the time. Zexion knows everything! He can even read minds I tell you! Then after he finds out, he'll let that kid loose! Or worse… He'll tell the Superior about this. He's always nagging to the Superior about these kinds of things. Stupid Vexen. I should have put Marluxia in the bag! Maybe next time I will! Mawahahahahaaa! Because I'm that evil. And British. No, being British does not make you evil; it just makes you have an amazing bloody accent so that everyone will love the villain. However, I digress… He can't know. He shouldn't know anything! But… He still may. What if I make this whole thing look suspicious? What if it is actually my fault and gave it all away from the start! No, it has to be Xigbar's fault… He's such an idiot to give a simple mission away that easily. That imbecile! This is why I always win! Always. I win. That's why I'm the Gambler of Fate… fate always wins in the end and it suck for everyone but fate. But then there's-'_

Xigbar elbowed the blond in the side, forcing him out of his thoughts. "Oh! Uh… Um… Of course, love."

Vexen raised an eyebrow at the two, causing Luxord to panic. "Well… I was going to ask…"

'_No, no… There's no nobody stuffed in that bag… Are you crazy? Why would we do something as cruel as that?'_

"Is that bottled ice tea that you are drinking, Luxord?"

The Gambler's jaw dropped a few inches at the question. He was very taken aback, but sort of pleased that it wasn't and of the questions that have Regaining his composer, he lifted the bottle that he was drinking from to read the label. "Yes… I do believe that it is, Vexen."

"Wait a minute? _-Legasp- _What? You lied to me?" Both Luxord and Vexen raised an eyebrow at the other in front of them. How did lying incorporate into this situation? Plus, why was Xigbar talking when Luxord told him the words 'leave it to me'? "You… You can't be British! The British like their tea warm! Very warm! And in a cup! You- You're drinking from a bottle… And you're tea is _iced! _Nothing like a true British person."

In frustration, Luxord grabbed Xigbar's earlobe, pulling hard enough to get a painful reaction. Like a child that was ready for his punishment. He turned back to the scientist one last time before he dragged Xigbar away by the ear. They really weren't meant to work together… "Well then Vexen… Hope you like what we got you. We'll see you around. Tata!"

Vexen carefully closed the door, not before watching Xigbar crying out in pain down the hallway though. Very amusing to say the least. Slowly, he looked down at the bag that was sitting on his laboratory's floor. It was rather large, bigger than what it had looked like in Xigbar's arms. The bag was brown and looked like it contained a hundred potatoes. Why potatoes? No one will ever know. All of a suddenly, he kicked the bag, causing it to let out a muffle noise.

Again, he began to stare confusingly at the bag in front of him. He was actually somewhat afraid of what Luxord and Xigbar had put into it for him. Moreover, he was afraid of the fact the Luxord and Xigbar were working together.

Once ten minutes past and the bag didn't move, he decided to open it. Undoing the knot and opening the bag up made the older man gasp in shock. "They… They… They got me a stuffed Moogle?"

It was a life size Moogle doll that if you hit its stomach it said "KUPO!" The prefect toy for any nobody! Young or old! It was curled up in a little ball in the bag as if someone was inside of it. Yeah, as if. The scientist tired to find a zipper on the thing, eventually finding it on the back. He tried to unzip it but the zipper had been glued together. Probably with something like gorilla glue. There was a note stapled to the back.

"Do not undo zipper unless wanting it repaired." He read aloud to himself, confusion completely written across his face. The next part made him quirk his eyebrow even higher, "Thanks yous very muchies. We Loves yous!" Scratching his head, he quickly decided to throw the note away in the trash. No need having these useless instructions around, right? "Well… That's interesting…"

Vexen shrugged it off, returning to what he was doing before, cleaning up the mess that he had found on the floor this very morning. It has seemed that one of his experiments had gotten loose but he hasn't found out which one it was. Hopefully it wasn't one of the dangerous ones. If it was, then he would be in so much trouble with the Superior. Again. No, no, he didn't want to deal with that this early in the morning. Being turned into a Dusk was not on his 'to do' list.

After he was finished, he went back to the Moogle that was still lying on the floor. "I wonder what I should do with that…"

* * *

End of Chapter Three! Oh great… Now Vexen has to dispose of Luxord and Xigbar's gift. You know how much that will hurt them? Do you, Vexy? Poor poor them… Anyways, I told you that I would put more Luxy and Xiggy in this! Dude… They are hilarious working together for once. But… I do like them fighting. Hm… I like Saïx…. Maybe too much…. Mawhahahaaa… And I'm still tired and really want to play some L4D. Eh… Zombies…

Next chapter, Chapter Four! Now I am actually working on my other stories! That means It's A Wonderful Life will be updated VERY soon. Insanely soon since I some time to spend to myself finally. Plus, I know that it has been year and such so… yeah… Sorry people. I'm very lazy and I've had so much shit to get done that... I am super stressed out. I also have so many stories that I need to either get done or edit that I am about to go insane. Plus my supid glasses are broken and keep sliding off my nose! Jeeze, why is all this happening to me?

Review if you wish, tell me what you think, what's going through your mind. (It would be nice if you review since I am rewriting this.)

YourConscience813


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